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Half A Century Older

By Roy D. Follendore III

Copyright (c) 2001 by RDFollendoreIII

July 11, 2001

Well tomorrow I will be a half century old and my body has been telling me that every day for the past ten years.  But tomorrow it is true.  Somewhere I must have blinked and here I am, as I am.  What I find so interesting is that it is not anything like I expected.  It isn't like my parents ever warned me or anything and I had been provided expectations.  It was more like somehow I did not really understand anything about perspective.  

I look at my hands and I see 50 year old hands.  I look in the mirror and I see a 50 year old face. But when I look inside of myself I don't see myself as 50.  In my minds eye I remain a young man.  

I truly feel that my mind is now superior to what it was then.  I have a greater sense of understanding that I did not once have.  More surprising is that I also seem to have a far greater sense of patience.  You would not think that with time running out, growing older would feel like that but it does.  It does for me.  I am not in such a huge hurry to do things that prove myself, perhaps because I am proven to myself.  

I now know about my intellectual arsenal and I am more than familiar with my weaknesses.  But I am not concerned about my weaknesses so much anymore because I understand why they exist.  They are exposed we are friends in a way that my assets and I will never be.  We have often mourned  together and I think we have sympathy for each other.  

The superiority of my best capabilities would never compromise itself enough to reach into the deepest part of me.  It simply exists and remains uneducated by error and true to itself.  Oddly enough what I have found deep down has made plenty of unjustifiable errors, but it is also the part of me that learns.  Without my weaknesses my strengths could not possibly exist.  I wonder if this it part of the enlightenment that comes of ageing?

In my short life so far I have had the occasion to work with some of the brightest people in this World.  I found that I could instantly see right through their brilliance and stare at their greatest weaknesses. It was at that moment that I understood.  It was then that I realized that I could operate far beyond my level of expectation if I gave what I had to offer instead of demanding what I thought was obligated.

We are all common creatures of this universe we share and we are all here because we are evolutionary success stories.  None of us would or could be here if we were any less.  But what we become the moment we are born from our Mothers' womb are individuals.  We are growing without standards and without expectations to become what we will be.   

My sister Ann reassured me on this day that I will make it through tomorrow just fine.  She said that the 50's is a time when we become wiser.  I thanked for her explanation because it was a gift.  I once did not appreciate the difference between being wise and being smart when I was younger but I think I do now.

Now when I communicate with people I no longer see the existence or absence of wrinkled skin nor the opaque weaknesses of physical form.  I look for an intelligent sparkle within the eyes and I try to speak to the wisdom of a universal ageless heart.       




Copyright (c) 2001-2007 RDFollendoreIII All Rights Reserved