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Don't Torture U.S. Troops

But According To Our Own Policy Is OK To Use Enhanced Interrogation Techniques

By Roy D. Follendore III

Copyright (c) by RDFollendoreIII

December 8, 2005

According to our current Presidential policy, countries should not be torturing 'combatants.'  At the same time, however there is this idea that the extraordinary techniques that the CIA is allowed to use is OK because they are the good guys fighting "terrorism."  Since the handling of prisoners is obviously by its nature going to be a reciprocal arrangement regardless of our one sided intentions, our polices become the minimum of what our troops can expect when they are captured by the enemy.  With this in mind, maybe we should be looking at the other side of the coin.

Let's say for instance we are writing a manual for interrogation of prisoners for other side...

What might the instructions in their official policy manual might be like if our enemy used our CIA interrogation techniques?

Officially Approved Terrorist Interrogation Techniques After The Extra-Ordinary Rendition Of American Combatants

Step One:  After our enemy is disarmed after extraordinary-rendition, simply grab the American by the neck of their shirt and violently shake him or her.  (There does not seem to be any clear number of times this sort of thing is allowed in secret American prisons, so lets just say that everyone who wants to should get as may chances to do that as they want.)

Step Two: Start slapping the crap out of the American prisoners.  (OK, I suggest that we should combine steps one and two.)  For instance we could shake and slap or we might slap and shake. Once again, as long as we use the palm of the hand there doesn't seem to be a limit on the number of times we are allowed to do this; so just feel free to slap as long as you want.  Let's say for starters ten or twenty slaps per shake so that everyone can get in on that too.

Step Three: If when we decide to finish with that and the American is still alive, we might want to pull up his or her shirt and do some old fashioned belly slaps. Remember now, once again we are still talking about using the open hand here, just lots of belly slaps. Now keep in mind that no belly jumping or belly stomping is to be allowed. That would be construed by the Americans as being against the rules.

Step Four:  Next we definitely want to shackle the armed combatant American tightly to the floor in such a way that he or she is forced to constantly stand up. You are allowed to use your imagination when designing how to accomplish this and it is perfectly acceptable to force the prisoner to listen to our worst music at full volume for good measure.  If the American tries to sleep, make sure that you go in for another round of slapping.

Step Five: Strip the American naked while they are standing shackled and pour ice cold (though not freezing) water on him or her with a bucket.  Do all of this over a period of more than 40 hours in a cold cell. Just be sure to keep the cell at least a degree above 32 degrees F. I know that most of our male volunteers will prefer doing this with the female American hostages for this but keep in mind that to be true terrorists like the American enemies we really have to be fair.

Step Six:  Last but not least, using their own specification, we are allowed to play with our prisoners as though they confessing somethign important.  Simply strap the American to a Board while shackled and naked with his or her feet raised and wrap cellophane around the face.  Next pour water into the face so that the prisoner thinks that they are drowning and repeat as necessary. In fact we should do this for as long as it satisfies us because we are not going to get useful information this way.  Unlike the foolish Americans, we have been educated enough in interrogation tactics to know that prisoners treated in this way will say anything. 

Just remember... while this procedure is not be the best way to get information, we have been reassured by the American Secretary of State that none of this is can be construed as torture.  If anyone asks, just tell them that we are simply conforming to the standards of the American government. Now go out there, do your duty and have some fun!


Note from the Author: I wrote this paper because think that it is important to see the potential of a policy from our enemy's perspective and that is what this essay is really all about. Imagine this technique being used on a captured soldier like Jessica Lynch.  As a writer and an American I personally don't see anything funny about any of this. What I hope is that by writing this, even the most entrenched reader can plainly see the implications of these policies.  

Regardless of the spin that Condoleezza Rice seems to be presently sowing in Europe, this issue is not over.  No one believes this administration, including most of the American people and the President's and Vice President's position is clear.  These are not a men and women in there who are open thinkers and have policies that are easily swayed by such things as truth and reality. This evangelical "Secret White House" undoubtedly remains confident that they are doing Gods work. What I and many others see from our atrocious rendition and interrogation policies is a pronouncement of our greatest weakness.  America has abandoned the principles of human rights. While the Republican "compassionate conservatives" have produced a lot of passion and very little compassion, they have generated a tremendous amount of anger and irony. The anger is from world opinion.  The irony is that our nation could be lead by so called 'conservative' people who are so pathetically brutal and stupid minded that they do not understand that what we choose to do to prisoners can and will be done to our troops when they are captured. 

There is no doubt that we are in terrible danger of our leaders bureaucratic vanity and what becomes of it will be our own responsibility.  These leaders that we have selected are people who are incapable of turning around their way of thinking, even when they are dead wrong. They seem to think that everything we do does not stink.  Well America, it is time that we face up to the fact that most of what we have been doing through their leadership does stink. We have seen their lies in the hunt for weapons of mass destruction, the justification for the invasion of Iraq, and we have seen it in the domestic leadership within our own nation.

We must begin to communicate the words that most have refused to say.  This sitting President has ruled while the heart of one American city destroyed and another completely wiped out.  The American people have been complacently watching terrible laws being passed because of purely political justifications, the economics of our treasury decay fall to its knees and our Supreme Court stuffed with self righteous zealots. Much of what what our leaders have been directing us to do by their inaction as well as their unilateral actions is ultimately both the definition and justification of terrorism.  We as a people must face this fact. In fighting terrorism through extreme measure we ourselves have become the thing that we are fighting.

The CIA is and has always been a political action arm of the Executive Branch of Government. It is a two edged weapon. It is a powerful and dangerous organization that can just as easily be used for tremendous good or or terrible evil. The existence of exceptional rules for the CIA or any other part of the Federal Government to interrogate or use rendition is a precedent that is both wrong headed and stupid.  In their secrecy they have no accountability and by giving the CIA this power, we are giving the President the authority to supersede the foundation of Constitutional law. 

Most Americans want to have the war powers of this President removed and properly checked and managed by the House of Representatives in Congress. This is a President who for whatever self justification, has violated his oath of office and rightfully should be impeached.




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