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Considerations of a Thermonuclear President

By Roy D. Follendore III

Copyright (c) 2003 by RDFollendoreIII

Little is known about the silent minority that supports the President of the United States.  We do not know their names or their faces.  They remain anonymous, protecting the Office of the President under every circumstance foreign and domestic.  They even protect our Presidents from their own personal shortcomings. They never really know when they will be needed.  This phone conversation intercept was apparently just made just a few days ago.

January 31, 2003


"Hello... are you there?"

"Mmmm Yeh... I am here.  What's the matter this time?"

"Sorry to wake you but this is important."

"It is always important.  What's it this time, has he started a war with another axis of evil or something?"

"Almost as bad. He has changed the nuclear strategies again."

"Oh crap! Not again."

"Yeah afraid so."

"Did it already go to the Pentagon?"

"Fraid so."

"Crap. Crap Crap..."

"I thought you might sat something like that."

"What else could anyone say about it."

"I know. Maybe there is something we can still do."

"Tell me what it said this time."

"Well roughly it said "The United States will protect its National interests with any means that the President of the United States feels a true Texas cowboy might do it.."


"I wish you would quit saying that."

"uh... sorry.   Like I said, can we stop it?"

"I don't think so, I heard that the Pentagon folks just put an Internet order for every John Wayne movie every made."

"Those bastards. They are already trying to cover up their strategy."

"Yeah, that is what I thought too."

"Did you try talking to his old man?"

"Hell yes.  You already know what I got."

"I can guess.  "Leave me out of this you sorry bastards.  My Son is the President and he knows exactly what he is doing because he is a true Born Again Texas Christian." ... or something like that."


"Crap... oh sorry"

"OK here is what we've got to do.  Let Jimmy know to go to the ranch and speak to mama Bush. He can go there under the pretense he is actually building another house for the homeless.  Jimmy's silver tongue can convince the Devil he sinned. Then call Bill and see if he can figure a way to put a positive spin on all of this.  Hell, he could redefine Nixon's words so they don't sound quite so damaging.  Too bad we did not have him around back then."

"I can see where you are going with all of this but they are Democrats. Why would they help."

"Look, when we tell them what we have here they should be just as freaked out as we are.  Now that we have the majority we can deal with them in the Congress."

"Maybe we can get Al Gore to figure out something that will make the whole thing look like it was a stupid mistake.  No... He is a quitter... Better get Danny Quayle.  He is better at that anyway."

"Should have thought of that... Do you think that Laura should be told."

"I don't think so. Just keep this little Presidential "flair up" away from her right now.  She has enough to deal with just putting up with the goat.  I think she just hopes he won't go on another binge and fall on the coffee table.  Besides, she never seems to have an original opinion about anything but at least she isn't like Hillary."

"That was not the way that I was going to play this but come to think of it, I think you are right about that."

"I think that is about all we can do at this time of the morning. We can talk tomorrow.  mmm...I need to go brush my teeth."

"What if he decides to fire up some dictator tonight."

"Well he is the President. But have you forgotten what we did with the football when Bill started to drink shooters with Monica that night in Vegas?"

"Yeah that was funny as hell. He kept pushing that red button over and over and it kept dialing up the "Sexy Barely 17 porn site."  It is a good thing we disconnected it from Cheyenne Mountain."  

"Well, I don't think anyone ever got around to fixing that damn thing. It don't matter though, everyone knows that Dick Chaney is the only guy that they would do a real launch for."


"You go on home and get some sleep yourself. Things will look better in the morning."

"It is the morning."

"I mean the next morning."

"This ant nothing compared to trying to manage that nincompoop Reagan.  You would be surprised what we had to fix then."

"Guess so."





OK, I could tell you that this is a true story but unfortunately it is not.  These kinds of people are mostly reasonably honest and intelligent, but who for the most part actually believe their roles and actions are guided by God or destiny.  That is what drew them on to be in positions of and near power.  That which the public understands is not necessarily what they really are. As a writer I chose to creatively draw upon this "insider" view in order to write this piece. But the grain of truth within this dialogue is that the checks and balances of this Nation are in fact being systematically dismantled.  The aspect of political fiction within this dialogue is that there is some anonymous group out there working together in protecting our President from himself or the American nation from itself.  There is no evidence of that. But the basis of the situational problem being described is real.  It recently has been reported in the news that by Presidential directive the strategic use of nuclear weapons has just been changed to better reflect the whims of the President.  Nuclear safeguards are apparently being reduced in order to more quickly retaliate for events in a war on terrorism that is clearly not well understood.  So putting all of this together I wondered what the response might be if there were a protective group looking over us.  A little outrageous dark political satire is often the best that can be done in such black situations.   





Copyright (c) 2001-2007 RDFollendoreIII All Rights Reserved